hey old freind...

i c u have been away for too long now..... where r u?

what happened to u?

u r always on my mind and im always wondering of what is going on ur lfie now....

plz if u ever see this let me how u r doing ok....

u can send me an email if u like too

everlasting_numbness@yahoo.com

love u

[mera263]

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THiS CROSS REPRESENTS SAFETY & CARING...
SEND THIS TO ALL THA PEOPLE Y0U CARE ABOUT & Y0U WOULD LIKE THEM TO BE SAFE 

Ill visit your other diary. real soon. this cross is for you, send it to those you love, and care about to protect them, and show them you love them..

Hey,

I'll miss you while I'm gone, but as I said I'll write as often as I can and please keep writing to me because I will really miss you.

Love ~MK~

PS   Never, ever give up hope.  There is always going to be hope in the world.  Always.

PPS   Trust in God; He really will help you.  Think of all the amazing things He has done for so many people in the world...and He loves you very much.

PPPS   If you want to reach me personally, then remember mk_o_86@yahoo.ca.

Hey, honey how u doin?  You don't seem to be doing very well.  I hope you're all right.  Please write to me either on MDD or e-mail at mk_o_86@yahoo.ca

Take care and best wishes,
MK

awww honey...

i dont know what to say...

except that you're beautiful...  dont ever change

love clarke

xxxx

are you ok?i noticed you havent commented in a while...welp hope to talk to ya later

love always

marissa

hey!! so nice to hear from u!
well to tell ya.. i'm alot better then i was. no more suside thoughts, no wrist slashing attempts. nvr again. i am goin out with a guy named monico now. the one i liked but ...i was goin out wit drey at the time. i'm still having guy trouble but i'm keppin my crushes to myself now. which helps alot. summer vacation started today and it hasn't really sank in yet. but it will and when it does... BOOM!!! i'm gonna get hit like no one knows. i made a good pal this year.. jacob taylor... i started likeing him.. but i ound out today that he's moving to a different school close by. ..  i will dearly miss him.
oh yea... i can't write on here anymore... by order of mom and pop... so i have an xanga:

www.xanga.com/science_chick

i hope u can vist my site!!
~JESSICA~

*freaks out and starts screaming*
AHHH.
Okay so you know Christian?? ('pickles' :) Well
AHHHHHH
we kind of...uhhhh..made out a little =P
And so yea...now I don't have ANY idea what is going on...
but I had to tell you that....
and his hands are the best, i swear......
haha =P
Ah...Thomas is a moron who has no idea what he's talking about. He just wanted to use you because nobody else would take him.
Stupid Prat.
:D
well I'm gonna go, I'm still in shock =O

hey

its ok i dont mind that you asked but i live in ohio,USA

love always

marissa

Getting over a breakup is always hard....(last time my boyfriend and I broke up, I develped a serious eating disorder, and I still have that)...but things WILL get better, and the pain won't be so bad.  Don't lose heart.

Luv,

~MK~

Something to make you laugh!
I absolutely adore her

Yea honey...i know. It's so weird, I keep going back and forth between where I am and where I want to be. So some days I'm mia and some days I'm not.

YOU ARE GORGEOUS. I'm saying it again and again until you believe it, because I would kill to be half as pretty as you

So I love you and of course i'm adding you!  I think I already had you actually....

Love you so,

<3becca

rambling...

rocks my socks

<3 

hey hun!

yea i promise...i accually dont want to anymore cause i like wearing shot sleaved shirts but i dont want ppl saying you cut!so yea...

how old are you?if you dont mind me asking

lotz of luv            marissa

yes i know..ther r good ones..but i read a shirt once that said "guys r lik parking places...the good ones are already taken"

<3

i dont want to say it but yea there has been alot of downs...the most resent one is jessica(giantsquid if you read her diary) and i were fighting(a really bit fight)and my life just came falling down and i was depressed and i  had cut a few times but its all better now and i stoped cutting...(thank God!) but idk that was the recent one

whats been going on with you?

lotz of luv        -marissa

o wait did u mean tips on how to be bulemic? cuz i have those too...just tell me

<3

actually i know how u feel... my last bf always wanted to see me naked... and thats he wanted every time he came over it was like "shut the door".... i hate guys... but wow, three yrs is a long time...but i stopped the same way i started...you plan out wut ur gonna eat each day and even if u dont wanna, u stick to it. it sucks, rly, i hated myself for the first few weeks and always wanted to skip but i just made myself eat...and the stopping bulemia wasnt hard because i hated it anyway...i cried a lot cuz i just wanted to feel thin again, but after awhile u realize that this is wut "healthy" is supposed to be...i dunno, i wich i culd help more hun, ttyl

<3

Hey darling,

Oh, 'pickles' and I are....not there. Not together. Not anything. I've given up on wanting and hoping, because what I wish for never happens. He's not man enough to tell me himself, and to go for it, and I'm not going to be the one who makes the first move. Plus he smokes pot like...as much as possible, and I hate that.

Hmm...things haven't been going good with me, I'm back to mia. Damnit. It's so strange....I've decided not to be ana anymore because I love food to much....bulimia is..well, it's better for me anyway. I just wish it would go away completely, I wish I could accept my body for what it is. But I can't. And you're about the only person I can tell....

anyway honey, I hope all is well with you and I love you bunches =)

<33becca

Like you told me , it's hard to find a good guy. However, i still believe someday you (even I) will meet him.Don't give a damn to the prick.You are WORTH.It's not the end of the world if you start to look for a new love again.Give your life a new chance please.Look , actually you have learned ; you realized you don't want him to take adventage on what your body can offer.By the way , may you good luck.Although your love isn't pathed with rose or it isn't successful at the beginning , it doesn't mean you can't find a true love anymore.

Be hopeful & Take Care,

ill comment dont worry...but im doing alright...having a few ups and downs...

-marissa

Hey hey..thanks first of all for your comment.. nah what you said does make sense. But about how we have those little good times and they quickly go..I'm just not sure that's how life is supposed to be..but meh..I don't know a lot of things. =/

I wrote this once before..but love is the sweetest thing but can also be the most painful thing... Sigh. He's not worth it whoever this guy is. You're better off not wasting time thinking bout him..but I know that's hard too... >.< Just have your friends there and tell yourself you'll find someone who really loves you for you.

Sorry i g2g...i'll add you to my favs? that ok?

~Kat~

Hey

Yeah I write alot

Ill post you some junk when I write it

yes i remember you!!! how could i forget you,you were my favorite diary!...are you back for now????? well ill talk to ya later!!!

luv ya bunches

marissa

Alex, Hey beautiful!
Sorry I haven't written you back on myspace, everytime I go on to write you back I get distracted and forget.
I'm sorry love!
Darling, you are absolutely stunning, so don't EVER say that you're not pretty! Thomas is a little boy who can't appreciate you for who you are. You will find some one who loves you for YOU and not your body. I promise =) You're only 16 honey, you have a long time =)
If all else fails, just know I love you and I'm always here for you &hearts;

<33becca

Those are really powerful words.  That's...amazing.

<3

hey,

before, on one of my diary entries, you said "I'm here if you ever need to talk or need advice".  So that's why I'm here right now.

As you know, I have an eating disorder.  And this is basically what happens:
I skip breakfast, eat a small lunch, and then in the evening I binge like crazy, it's not even funny.  And then I gain weight from eating like that.  So then I tried to eat "balanced" meals, but basically the same thing happens, except it is spread through out the whole day. 

I need help on how to control cravings.  What do you do?

One more thing:   Right now I weight a little more than 130 lbs  (I know, it's a lot), and I want to be 110 lbs by the middle of the summer.  Do you think that is reasonable?

You can e-mail me at mk_o_86@yahoo.ca.  I would really appreciate it if you did that, Butterflystar.

Thankx.
~MK~

aww honey I'm sorry :( But he is kind of an idiot. No offense. Hate him, hate him? Or just mad at him.

aww :( I'll miss you!

it's kind of a weird situation, we are going out, but we aren't...

i don't know that's why I'm always confuzzled

but go eat nasty food I don't want to :(

much love,

becca

lol! you figured out the icons! good for you!

Now tell me how to get them from photobucket onto myspace!

I can't figure it out!

I tried the tag/URL/ & w/e else is there, why didn't it work? *cries*

ah!

love ya

Awww honey :( I'm sorry! Maybe it wasn't too be though, if he can't just talk to you about why you feel this way, then he isn't worth it. Idk, something about him  I don't like o_O. Sorry!

How are you guys doing anyway??

Saw *pickles* today. *sigh* so f*cking adorable! AHhhh!

Yea, I guess you can be random with mine too, people keep asking me why you talk to much about pickles, lmao!  And his sister's on there, so I don't want her to know what I'm talking about!

OOOhhhh!!! You MUST take pictures and put them on myspace! I don't ever go to any dances. *sigh* home schooled. BLAH.

well I looveee you, but I must go tell you how to get icons :D

<33 becca 

yea he is clever! wow.. maybe we shouldn't talk about it sooo much. Like maybe we should change the code word?? Like if you just say randomly "ahh I love ducks!" then that could mean Thomas. Know what I mean?What ever word is random...that'll be our code okay?

so that way it'll continually change.

Just don't make is so obvious that you're talking about a person, be like ":( I don't think my dog likes me any more " () so that way it'll seem like we're talking about something completely different. Okay??

Ahh....today I ate:

2 pieces of chocolate, 1 1/2 kit kats, 2 easter eggs, some french fries for dinner & a piece of key lime pie (the junk)

and then I ate a 2 pieces of meat, some potato's, and some spinach.

is that alot??

Love you bunches! See you on myspaceee! ADD AN ENTRY! *shoots you*

looveee youuu <3

hey honey  *cries with you and huggles you* :( i'm sorry! I wish everything could be better with you and Thomas again....but maybe you aren't meant to be..

I wish you were, because I know you...well I'm not so sure if you're in love with him.. But maybe you're suppoused to be with Clayton? I know, I know, you don't want to ruin his happiness...but maybe it wouldn't??

I don't know, it's just interesting that you and Thomas are going through a hard time, and you were in love with Clayton.

Idk :/

I'm okay..I ate a medium ice cream cone today & onion rings, which was an indulgence and I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it

Oh well...

I hope you're okay honey, I'll see you on myspace.

Love you bunches,

*cuddles && kisses*

Hey honey! hehe  Can't believe you said that! Well..I hope he doesn't say anything

()...maybe he'll just forget about it, you know?

Ah! DON'T say that ever again! You are gorgeous in 100000000 ways and I don't want to hear it! Nope nope! AHhh I love your hair! It's amazing! Grrrr! Hate you!  (not really of course )

WOW, I feel like such a pig, I just ate: Half a piece of pizza, 3 garlic knots, 3 chicken wings, 2 cups of pepsi, & a plate of salad.

URGHHHH! Feel like pukey

Oh well...I'll deal, I'm not in the mood to *do that* right now.

Anyway, how was your day? How was your Easter? Did you eat tonsss of chocolate for me?

ACK! Love you bunches!

<33becca/misty (<---- hehe!  My Alias )

<center>
Ahhh! Hey lovey! &hearts;
Aww you're so pretty! Lucky you!
Pshh! :D
Hmm....ahlalaaa I'm so bored right now
everybody's talking really loud :P

HAPPY EASTER NO MORE!

Hey ButterflyStar!

Don't hurt yourself.  Or at least, don't cut yourself over somebody like Thomas.  He might be a great guy, I don't know, but from guys that I've known I've learned something---guys are not worth doing that over!

Don't get me wrong...I think guys are great.  But don't hurt yourself over a guy, because ...well...Thomas and you might not be the greatest match.  I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

Sorry if I am rambling on about this, I was just trying to help.

So don't listen to me if you don't want to, okay?  Just thought I would add my two cents worth of stuff right here.

And before I go, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~MK~

Yayy Myspace! I'm searching for you right now  AH! OMG I cannot believe you did that! But it will all work out hon, at least now he knows  Oh God, I feel for you honey! Damn..Do I know that feeling. I did that same exact thing, got drunk and told 'that' guy what I was feeling. Felt sooo embarassed  the next day! Ahhh!  YAYY I found you on myspace.

Code names? Okay, give me a code name for Thomas  And the code name for Christian is....uhh...Pickles  (as i'm in random mood )

Anyway tell me when you talk to him!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

Eat tons of candy! So I don't feel like a pig!

Love you!

<33becca<33

Hey beautiful, Happy Easter! Damn...even I'm going to be eating lots of lovely Easter candeh tomorrow :D I'm eating a plum..hmmm. I really want some candy. Ahhhh!  Thomas and you...have a very confusing relationship. You both seem..well crazy about eachother, but something is lacking...I don't know what it is either :( I hope things get better between you two honey, why don't you talk to him about this?

Yes! i have a myspace! I'm addicted to it  send me your e-mail addy and I'll add you okay?? The only thing I ask is please don't write a comment about...my ed or anything on MDD, because my family views it and I don't want them to know about anything on here. Okay??

Ahhh Guys suck. As always. Won't see him for 1 effing week.

URGH.

Hate life.

p.s. you can rant to me any time

Love you :)
<3smoosh<3

  I know you wouldn't! It just disappeared, and I was wondering where it went  I found the AWESOMEST picture album on photobucket ever !!! I LOVE the pictures! The name is "tiinker"

awesome, awesome, AWESOME pictures!!! I love them!!!!

Aww....well then hon, I guess, 'what will be will be'..

Maybe you and Thomas are meant to be....

I hope he treats you good, because if he doesn't then I'm going to have to come down there and smack him around a little

Anyway darling, I'm gonna go!

Love you bunches,

<33 becca

hey hon....

argh, sorry I can't comment long right now, I'm not in the mood, but i'll try...

If you're in love with Clayton....I say go for it. Tell Thomas how you feel, him not knowing isn't going to help anything....or tell Clayton...

I know how effing hard it is, so do what you want..

sorry I sound so cynical and out of order, but the world has screwed me over once again, and I'm so lost and confused and alone, and tears won't stop...and oh God.

Sorry hon, love ya.

<3

hi darling, thanks for your comment. i'm okay don't worry about me. i guess i was just being weird, needed attention was confused, u know? hope ur ok.
xoxo

aww i really dont know what to say....i just hope this all works out... <333 Brit

I used to be in the situation like this.I thought my (male) friend probably hated me because he always warned me not to love him ( but i did)I said to him yes , i knew it very well.He and i , at that time , seemed we didn't know each other.He little by little was far away from me.So did i. i'd hidden him.I tried to avoid to meet him.If i knew where he likes to go , i wouldn't show my face up there.Many months ago , i acidentally met him.He said hi to me and asked where had i been.I was silent.Then he said he missed me.I asked him back that did he hate me or not for what i'd done.He said never.So now he and i become good friend each other as before.For you , i hope your friend will understand you and you will get him back soon.No matter how long it takes , friend is still friend.It'll never change to be other.May you good luck.

All the love.

if only you can split yourself into 2 halves ..

you'll be able to have a serious honest self conversation ..

via which, you shall know exactly what you feel .. & what you don't feel

hope everything is gonna be alright ..

lotsa luv

Noble

Hey beautiful...

how's life going?

Everything is pretty much the same as it was a few days ago.....haha! I actually WANT to eat at this moment though, so it's good. I'm listening to a mix from like 2 years ago, one I made right after I broke up with my ex....and WOW...the memories it brings back. I thought I'd never feel whole again, I thought I would never be ALIVE again...how wrong was I!!! Honey, I got over him in like a second when I saw a hideous picture of him  guess it wasn't true love.....all I'm saying hon, is that these guys that are the world to you, aren't going to be around forever...most of them go, and I wish I could make them stay, but how many relationships have you been in that you've felt you were in love? and I'm not saying you haven't been in love......but i'm saying that it's a different kind of  love...it's a love that fades...and it's not true love, because your true love will last forever...oh I'm really speaking more to myself then to you.....honey, what's going on? What happened today?

Love you!

<3 becca

Thank you so much for telling me! Your so sweet! ;)

Ill add this diary too.

LOVE YOU! Love metallee

BIG BIG HUGS FOR YOU! *:)

hey honey!

Snuck on here to leave you a comment......hehe I know I'm just sooo amazing  Yea, I know what you mean....I've lost like 10 lbs so far  yayyy! But not good  Anywayy......Best friends?! That's bad....but ahh what will be will be yes? Well if you love Clayton then you can't continue....whatever it is you're doing with Thomas. Ahh sorry this is short,

someone's home I gotsa go

lofff youuu!!!

<333 smooooshhh

p.s. longer comment later I promise!

hey lovely,
thanks a lot for ur sweetest comment! loved it
and dont worry about me, just have these terrible mood swings haha.
hope things will get better for  you.
u know, everyone makes mistakes and right now you're gonna try to break ur 2 month record. u can do it! i know you can. believe in urself, dont be afraid to face ur emotions. i know it gets so overwhelming sometimes, but you are to good and to beautiful to be damaging that perfect body of yours.
you can do it!
take care xoxo :)

Sometimes, hearing "Why did you do that?" or "you should see a doctor" or hearing how you hurt other people by doing that, brings you down even further...like you've failed. I do think you did a really good job. It's not easy at all to quit cutting. It takes a lot of strength, and if you keep building that each time, then you will soon stop too. And if you slip up...just keep going. Everyone falls...it's just a matter of getting back up. People believed in me...and I believe in you....you remind me so much of myself. How old are you?

I'm a very shy girl. I can't put it in his mailbox...because I don't know where he lives. *Next door meaning his work is right next door to my work. But you're right, that would be a really cute idea. :)

It's not easy. Once you cut, it becomes habbit. Even when you break that habbit, you will slip up. I quit cutting over almost 2 years ago, but I've slipped up 5 times. Instead of putting yourself down for giving in, why don't you say "I did it for two months, this time I'll do it for three. I did a good job." Because you did do a good job.

<3

deep breaths... how could you say such a thing?  you're so beautiful, physically, mentally, verbally, if thomas doesn't see that he's retarded...

i'm so glad you're back... i dont have msn sorry, i did but i never go on it because i dont have internet on my home computer anymore because i couldn't afford the bills, so i go to the uni library to come online... yeah i dont care if people read my journals behind my back...

you're perfect... but please think about the bulimia issue...  food is sustainence... you can't wither away, otherwise thomas will never see you for who you are...

love clarke

xx